Sitting comfortably, give in to the experience of the moment. Relax. Allow your senses to take over, noticing what you see, hear, feel and smell.

Look deeply into the shades of color and the visual textures the forest has to offer, the awesome variety and quality of sensory experience.

Notice the buzz of nature, the animal sounds and panorama of new auditory input. You don’t hear the buzz of nature in the city. Tune in…

And feel the temperature of the air, the warmth of the sun on your neck and weight of your body on the earth as she pulls you steadily toward her.

If you really do the above, you are in touch with nature! This alone is a rare feat. Gone are your worries of the day. Nature is with you.  You are out of your head and into the external present. What more could you want?

Ah yes. The answer! Why me?

As you tune in deeply to nature, you will sense the answer. Some even experience it as a quiet revelation, the whisper of a still, small voice. The voice gently asks a question in return. Why not me?

Why not me?

Yes, why not me? Who am I to desire immunity from the trials and tragedies that humans have suffered for millennia? What makes me different that every other living person, and everyone who has ever lived on this earth?

Nature understands that while each of us is unique, we are not above suffering. Immersed in the One Human Mind, the external present, we understand that tragedy and triumph are common experiences. And no one is immune to life’s angst. In fact, from the present moment, we understand that it cannot be any other way. To desire so is arrogance. Even in the face of our own death we cannot ask for ultimate deliverance or escape inevitable demise.

Is asking why not me a call for discouragement? No, holding on to why me is the only way to remain discouraged. Accepting your vulnerability to tragedy and capacity for triumph set you free to live life on Life’s terms, which releases your ultimate capacity for personal freedom. This is not something that can be taught or understood through conventional education. It can only be experienced through OHM practice. Resolving why me once and for all represents another of life’s shackles loosened.

To create the experience of struggle with something ordinary, we must compare what we are doing now with something we imagine doing that is, in our view, more favorable. In this process of comparison, we suffer the emotional consequences of believing we are not as well off in our current circumstance as we might be if things were different. But things are not different, so with every ongoing moment we punish ourselves and miss out on the present.

Let’s say you are mowing the lawn. In the moment, there is only walking, seeing the green lawn before you, pushing the mower, hearing the motor, smelling the cut grass, feeling the resistance of the wheels over uneven ground, feeling your muscles work, sweating, and so on. This is doing, noticing, sensing. That is all there is to it.

To turn this experience into suffering, you must get away from your senses and into your head. First, you need to remember or imagine – create an internal picture or whisper something to yourself – that something is better than the here and now. You might imagine yourself sitting by the pool with a cool drink at hand. Or, you may think of the television show you are missing, imagining how you could be sitting in the living room, basking in the light of your digital kingdom.

Only by conjuring up these images of a more preferable state can you begin to struggle (mentally and emotionally) while mowing the lawn. Only by comparing your internal image of the present with an internal image of something other than the present can you pull off the state of inner struggle that makes mowing annoying or undesirable.

Attending to the present (your senses) is another matter entirely. Immersing yourself in the sights, sounds, physical feelings, smells and taste of the moment does not leave room for comparison and therefore precludes emotional struggle or suffering with the ordinary. What is left is only the doing, the physical exertion of the moment.

Why must we struggle? Because we compare our present state with other states that we imagine to be more desirable. Is this avoidable? Probably not. Our brains are wired to compare, but that is another matter entirely. We can, however, reduce the suffering by comparison through OHM practice. We can reduce the struggle greatly, in fact.

As the first thoughts of the day dawn upon your mind, how should you consider them? Is it better to view the activities of the day that you look forward to, or consider the negative things that may happen if you lie in bed for another hour? Should you talk to yourself in a calm tone of voice or command yourself to get up immediately? Are you aware of what works best for you and how your current method of communicating with yourself affects what happens next?

When communicating about something important to a family member or co-worker, are you choosing wisely when to seek information vs. give information? Does it occur to you when it is best to speak in vague terms and allow the other to fill in the details? Do you know when it is better to be very specific and are you thoughtful about when to do what?

Are you consciously choosing when to immerse yourself in your passion and feelings vs. when to take a more objective viewpoint? Do you know how to intentionally do either of these? Do you choose when and how to take another point of view as you make decisions or propose ideas?

When you are deciding whether or not to do something specific, are you focusing your thoughts on the doing or on the end result? Which of these is the better choice, given what you want to accomplish?

Do you choose words that will lead others to experience their feelings, or their internal sense of imagery or sound? What is the benefit of communicating in such a way as to invite others to experience any of the above?

Do you often think in terms of what you want, or what you don’t want? What is the value of both of these viewpoints and when do you use each one to motivate yourself and others?

Where is your attention at any given time? Are you focused on the external environment or on your internal world? Are you considering the past or the future and where it is most productive to be focused as you move through various situations in your day?

The list of questions could go on and on. As we teach NLP, we find that most people most of the time are simply not aware that these choices exist. We simply are not taught how to use our minds, bodies and our mouths intentionally. When we aren’t even aware that we have choices, we tend to react to others and the environment in whichever ways we have picked up over the years by observing others who didn’t have many choices either. Sometimes this works out fine. At other times it is disastrous.

When you set goals, do you get in touch with the specific, personal resources that you have which will be helpful? Do you consider what, specifically, you will need from others? Do you carefully reflect on how pursuing and attaining the goal will affect other areas of your life and make plans to accommodate any ill effects?

It may seem difficult to be so intentional. It isn’t. You already know, consciously or unconsciously, how to do it all! Life becomes so much easier and your effectiveness within yourself and in the world increases ten-fold when you become aware and merely apply what you know in each situation as you encounter it.

Here’s the scene: your spouse is upset because of something you have done (or failed to do). He is verbally attacking you. Naturally, you defend yourself by giving lots of information to justify your actions and prove yourself blameless. This only fuels the fire and creates greater argument and tension.

Is this easy or difficult?

Imagine instead choosing to seek information rather than give it in this case. You calmly ask three or four thoughtful questions that allow him to completely explain his case. Naturally, he calms down once he feels understood, at which point you switch to giving information that he should know. Is this easier or more difficult?

Learning and choosing the most effective way to communicate makes life so much easier! Here is another scene: your child is distracted, playing with toys and not listening to your request to get ready for bed. You get upset and begin yelling. At this point your child begins to cry and is so upset that he doesn’t want to go to bed.

Easy or difficult?

Imagine instead directing your mind to the past. In your own childhood you remember how easy it was to get distracted while playing and how hard it was to go to bed sometimes. You immediately take your child’s point of view and feel compassion. You then take a few minutes to play with him before gently reminding him that it is bedtime. This takes about the same amount of time that the yelling and crying scenario would take. Instead of anger and tension, however, you feel connected and at peace with your child.

Life becomes so much better when we are aware of the vast array of options we have when communicating with ourselves and with the people in our life. Nothing has a grater impact on our quality of life and happiness. It seems absurd that we don’t spend much time learning how to communicate well.

Learning and applying NLP may be the single best investment you can make to bring your life and your relationships in harmony with your deepest desires for happiness and productivity. With a knowledge of NLP, you understand the structure of communication and this understanding creates choices that may have never occurred to you before. It’s all about living intentionally, which is knowing what to do and when to do it.

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